I'm better with machines than people. Always have been, probably always will be. That's not to say I am totally socially inept. I've certainly come a long way from being that awkward grade-schooler who everyone picked on, but I'm still much more comfortable around technology than human beings. Machines make sense to me - they break and I fix 'em. I have a knack for it. I don't get frustrated, I just do it, it's like second nature.

People on the other hand are hard. I love my friends to death (and would take a bullet for several of them if asked), but I'm kind of bad at friendship. I hate the phone - rarely answer calls, and never make them. I like to keep in touch, but tend to be infrequent about it (even with my family, even when I'm being nagged). I enjoy my alone time to the extent that I would classify myself as something of a loner. The people I'm close to I'm extremely close to, but it's beyond hard to get to that point with me and those people understand my habit of "disappearing", if you will. I'm not good at letting people in. I hate this about myself sometimes. Hate that I'm not more of a people person, but what can I do when it's simply not in my nature to be a social butterfly? I just always hope that those I love the most will understand.

That said, I enjoy company when I have it, and am very much looking forward to tomorrow which will be full of friends, food and great conversation. In fact, after everything's over I'll probably say I want to do it all again right away, but I won't. I'll slip back into work, and running the press, and being a kind-of hermit, lamenting that I don't get to see everyone often enough. It's a pattern, a sad truth about who I am. I think I inherited it from my father. I always think I can change it, but talking about change is easy, and actual change is hard.

I know a lot of people who technology doesn't make sense to at all. I help fix stuff for them sometimes. But I'm the flipside of that. In fact, if you called me a geek, I wouldn't even be offended, because like Firefly's Kaylee I just seem to have a happy rapport with machines. In fact, that label might go a long way to understanding me better. I love my friends and I like people, but I'm not always good with them. Like I said, human beings are hard and don't always make sense to me. I do try, but sometimes I cock it up. It's just who I am, forgive me.

I remember when trolls on the internet used to get me all worked up. This morning when it happened on Facebook, I briefly pondered how this person got on my friends list and then promptly deleted them. Apparently, whoever they were, they missed the memo on how I'm simply too busy these days for bullshit. In fact, bringing bullshit into my life is just about the quickest way to find yourself shut out of it.

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Now a quick little shameless plug: If you tune into the SPACE channel tonight at 10pm, you'll be able to check out PRETTY BLOODY, a documentary about women working in horror that I was interviewed for. Happy viewing.

Power's back and a whole nine hours earlier than predicted. Funny how heat and light make everything so much better. :)

Jeff, BE meeting is back on! Woo!

Indoor temperatures are now in the single digits. Hydro predicts no resolution before 4pm and states this could actually go on to last a full 24 hours or more. It looks like it's time to find somewhere for us and the animals - well, the two this puts in danger anyways - to go. Work is also without power, so I suspect there won't be much of that today either. At any rate, I'm going to keep this short as I should probably conserve what little juice my Blackberry has left...
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I suppose I'll blog more about the day later but right now it seems half of Toronto, including our house, is without power (and therefore heat) on one of the coldest nights of the year. It's been this way for hours. I'm cold, I'm worried about our warm climate pets whose aquariums can't provide heat without electric even though I've done everything I can do to insulate them against the ever-increasing cold. I don't even know why we're without power yet, but - sure hope they get it up again soon... Good night, I hope for better news in the morning.
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Well, what I'll be doing, among other things, is celebrating my 33rd birthday. Booked the tickets this morning. This almost makes up for having to cancel our Christmas trip to Mexico due to Gunn's eye injury.

Awesome. We're in the worst economic crisis in decades and our leader succeeds in getting Parliament suspended for almost two months. How embarrassing. I wonder if the next time I'm faced with a challenging and uncomfortable situation at work, if I can just beg off on a two-month vacation so I can avoid dealing with it. I don't know what world Stephen Harper lives in, but it certainly isn't the real one. Coalition or election, either would be better this stupid, do-nothing anti-solution.

Hey, America, you think we could borrow Obama for a bit??

Here are five things I have recently found myself totally smitten with:

1. The band The Airborne Toxic Event. Brilliant uptempo alt-pop-rock with some of the best lyrics I've ever heard - not surprising, once one learns the lead singer is also a fiction writer and journalist. And, they take their name from Don DeLillo's novel White Noise. 'Nough said.

2. Brooklyn, NYC-based band Bishop Allen. More terribly catchy alt-pop-rock that practically begs you to sing along with it. Their 2003 album Charm School is definitely my feel-good album of the moment.

3. HBO series' True Blood. But even more so, the original novels by Charlaine Harris, several of which I owned but didn't read earlier because their covers made them look like cheesy romance books. But after checking out the TV series, I recently flew through all eight in a two-week span and really dug the hell out of them. There are definitely some noticeable similarities to Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series, but on the whole Harris' characters are much more endearing and believable, and the writing is several notches better, in general. Great, easy-to-digest, literary fun.

4. Fallen Sword. Free old-school online MMORPG. Don't know why I've become so addicted to this silly, geeky diversion, but there it is. It's even more fun now that I've guilded up. Every time I get obsessed with one of these things, I realize that I would probably fall deeply in love with WoW if I ever allowed myself to try it. Video games are my crack.

5. Speaking of video games: Left 4 Dead. Collaborative zombie shooter that B and I are currently blasting our way through. Kind of like playing a video game version of the UK miniseries Dead Set. Never thought I could like "running" zombies so much - or maybe it's just that I like shooting them into itty-bitty pieces. Oh, and there's lots and lots and lots of gore and blood splatter.

I'm finally coming into my less crazy time of the year, so I've been checking out this free, browser-run MMORPG and have really been enjoying it. The graphics actually remind me of the old-school video games that I played the hell out of as a kid in the '80s. So, if you're into online RPGs, but are like me and refuse to play a monthly fee to play a game, consider checking it out - it costs absolutely nothing to sign up and play. If you do decide to give it a shot, and want to find me, or ally with me. I go by Alyxzia on it. Enjoy! (Click the banner below to go directly to the site.)

From CP24.com:
"The tragic turn of events surrounding the death of Brandon Crisp has shone a glaring spotlight on the issue of video games and their use and abuse by young people. Crisp's tragic demise can be directly linked to his extensive playing of his Xbox, after the teen ran away from home when his parents took the system away from him following concerns that he was addicted to the technology. "

No, his death can be directly linked to the fact that he ran away. What made him run away is irrelevant. Kids run away for all sorts of reasons everyday, this is no different.

In thinking about the same-sex marriage debacle in California, I would like to present the following proposition:

If same-sex couples can't marry because it is against the will of God (the only argument I ever hear against same-sex marriage). Then I propose that Christians should be banned from getting divorces, because it is also against the will of God (see: “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” - Matthew 19:6). Fair's fair, after all.

So yeah, no marriages for same-sex couples, and no divorces for Christians.

As I see it, you either live by the bible or you don't, you don't just pick and choose what suits you. Bloody hypocrites.

The cover of Rue Morgue #83 was/is MySpace's picture of the day today. That's pretty damned cool and certainly something I didn't expect when I hit the front page of the site earlier this morning.

Has it really been over a month since I blogged here last? Life sure is getting away from me these days.

I was just shaking out some rugs on the back porch when I saw a moving truck cream a parked car, exactly like ours got creamed back in the spring. So I calmly walked into our house, grabbed a pen and a couple of pieces of paper and went out and wrote down the company and license plate number. Then I told the couple that hit it that we'd been through a similar hit this spring but the driver had fled the scene without leaving us any way to contact him. I told them that I expected them to do the right thing and leave a note for the owner of that car (or I would), then I handed them a pen and another piece of paper. Apparently I'm turning into the patron saint of parked cars.

I will be a good person, even if no one else will. I will be a good person, even in those instances where it would be easier to look the other way and pretend you didn't see anything. I will be, I swear it.

We never did catch the perpetrator of our second hit and run and now have to eat the damages ourselves, so if I can spare anyone else that kind of stress and financial hardship, it is well worth it.

Plus, like I said, people really need to be responsible for their actions.

Two outspoken female book lovers, writers or publishing industry professionals for a damned cool new project.

Candidates must have a solid grasp of grammar and spelling, have something interesting to say about the book/writing/publishing biz and a couple free hours a week.

For more details email monica @ burningeffigy.com.

Thanks in advance, and yes, all will be revealed at Word on the Street in September.

You know what's awesome? When the DVD drive on your computer decides to only selectively read discs, with an emphasis on mostly not (and it's not even two years old).

Guess I'll have to give it a transplant.

I have always said that if one is unhappy, one needs to take action, and that the only person responsible for your happiness is yourself. That said, I'd be a total hypocrite if I didn't follow my own advice. So, I do. For the last couple years I have been freelance editing to pay down wedding debts (let's face it, out-of-province weddings are ludicrously expensive). It's not particularly hard work (most days anyway) but it is frightfully time-consuming. So time-consuming that between Rue Morgue and Burning Effigy, it keeps me from focusing on my own creative output. And unfortunately, if I'm not being creative on my own terms, I undoubtedly find myself sinking into a deep bog of seriously bummed out. I've been lamenting to B for months that I no longer have time for my own projects (including those in progress and nearing completion), and that I completely despise this state of being. But I got myself here, so of course it is up to me to get myself out. So hence, the first of several life changes: when I complete the two freelance editing jobs I am currently in the middle of, I will not longer take on freelance editing work. Freelance writing, yes; editing, no. I have more than enough editing to do for Burning Effigy to keep me happily busy in the area. Sure, the extra money is nice, but not at the expense of my creative endeavours and manuscripts that should have been completed way before now. So there you have it, change numero uno. More on the others still to come.

How big of a nerd am I? I am positively thrilled to discover that the hockey rink B plays at every Tuesday night has a classic Doctor Who pinball machine. Yeah, I know, kill me now.


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